Friday, May 23, 2008

tuesday.

I feel like time is standing still.

I want to crawl into bed and wake up only when the phone rings to give me an answer.

I know that is horrible.

The boys have lots going on this week. I need to be present--fully present--for them.

I'm afraid I am failing miserably today.

I am trying not to be an alarmist.

I am trying to be realistic.

The truth is we have no idea what is going on over there.

It could be that they are just slow.

Or it could be that there is some problem.

We don't know.

In my mind, I understand that I should not be panicking yet.

I should just relax, turn it over to the Lord, and carry on.

Could someone please tell me how to do this?

I can say that the sparkling clean car and continual consumption of processed sugar is not even touching the aching and heavy heart.

It usually helps.

Not today.

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