Saturday, January 26, 2008


Our I600 approvals arrived today in the mail.

From what we understand, it has been faxed to Dakar and the visa center in New Hamphire.

It's now sitting on someone else's desk...
The ball is moving again.

Saturday, January 19, 2008


It’s one of those days.

I’m highly discouraged that we didn’t hear back from the Immigration office on Friday. Monday is a holiday–adding yet even more never ending days to our wait. I feel like I could have a nice break down if I don’t keep myself distracted. I was cleaning out Quincy’s closet today and moved some of his too small clothes up to Zeke’s room (the few that have survived 4 boys already). My mind raced with images of Zeke in full Landers boy uniform–jeans with holes and a hooded sweatshirt. I do miss them so much. I wonder how long…it’s a pregnancy with no due date. No end in sight. Ugh.

So we are in full distraction/chore mode here. The hope is we can get it done today and tomorrow and then actually take a day off on Monday and PLAY with the kids on their no school day. After a family meeting about the possibility, everyone is quite cooperative.

Friday, January 18, 2008

transracial adoption article

a few tidbits from an article by Justin Taylor on transracial adoption:

"We shake our heads in wonder that the One who upholds the universe by the word of his power (Heb. 1:3) is not ashamed to call us his brothers (Heb. 2:11). We know that we deserve nothing but wrath, and instead have received grace upon grace in the gospel. It is this radical reality of the gospel that frees us from our love affair with comfort and moves us outward to serve those in need. We who have been rescued will desire to rescue others; we who have received the good news will desire to build families where the gospel can be demonstrated and relayed."

"At the end of the day, we have no biblical warrant for designing our lives around things we cannot control, nor do we have warrant for maximizing comfort at the expense of need. We pursue God in faith, and this faith is not by sight."

"As long as sin remains-this side of the return of Christ and the ushering in of the new heavens and the new earth-racism will remain. There is virtue neither in overstating or unstating this reality. But the idea of having qualms about transracial adoption (or interracial marriage) because it will create opportunities for more racial prejudice doesn't ultimately make a lot of sense. As John Piper has commented, "It's like the army being defeated because there aren't enough troops, and the troops won't sign up because the army's being defeated."

J. I. Packer gets it right in his classic, Knowing God: "Our understanding of Christianity cannot be better than our grasp of adoption."

" goal is not to argue that transracial adoption is the best or only way to live in gospel-motivated obedience to God's Word and in response to the needs of the world. I'm simply proposing that transracial adoption is one thing that Christians should celebrate and consider. "

Monday, January 14, 2008

Post Adoption Depression.

(originally posted at keeping track here too).

I will probably touch on this later. But I'm thinking about it today and wanted to process today as well.

A scary and overwhelming thing called Post-Adoption Depression has come in up in several blogs that I read just yesterday. It is something I have heard about and read about in books. And I've talked about with a couple close friends. I am trying to be realistic and prepared and have my eyes as open as possible. But we know no matter how prepared we think we are, often things like PAD can sneak up and overcome us. And no matter how much reading we do it cannot compare to the reality of living with a newly adopted child and the challenges it brings.

So why am I boring you with this very official term that means very little to most of you?

I told a friend yesterday that I fully expect that we will wrestle with this in some degree. There always is a bit of let down when you achieve a goal that you have invested huge amounts of time, energy, money and emotions into. I imagine the first several months of having "strangers"--very needy strangers--living in your house can be a bit tiresome and confusing. Not to mention the overwhelming feelings of responsibility that will hit us as we enter the trenches of actually caring and providing for these children that we hardly know. I imagine there will be moments of panic--of "Oh my gosh, what have we done?!"

But I told my friend, "I'm not sure who I could admit that to. There is small group of people I would be willing to share it with. Simply because adoption has seemingly been a controversial thing in some ways. People have mixed feelings about it. And I know I could not handle the "I told you so" or "I knew this was going to be too much for you."

And then I started thinking about the tremendous therapy and support the blogs are for me. I don't want to have to pretend when the kids come home. There are going to be some rough days...possibly rough months.

So I am just preparing us all. We are hoping and praying for an easy transition and attachment but also preparing for a nightmare as well. And just because it is hard does not mean it is wrong.

I want to take this blog through the valleys and the moutaintops. I hope we can afford each other the grace to do so.

Now obviously, there are times when it is not appropriate to be completely honest on a public blog. I try and use discretion. But generally, what you see is what you get around here. An extremely flawed mother, with a house full of kids with their own challenges, and a marriage that requires a lot of work. Most days we have no idea what we are doing. And that is not going to change.

We will just add another dimension of doing our best, through the grace of God to make our way through adoptive parenting and loving wounded children. I anticipate it will be quite the ride.

Just be ready...that's all I'm saying...